15 free fun things to do… in a department store
It’s mid summer and you are bored out of your mind. You are going to the movies few times a week. The security guard at the beach/lake/river already know you by name. You are reading all the books you had in schedule. And you are drinking like there’s no tomorrow. But, for some reason, you feel extremely bored… don’t know what else to do.
Here’s 15 fun free things to do… in a department store.
[Translated to English from a post Shery made last October. Spanish version is in italic.]
1. Take 24 boxes of condoms and throw them to chance in the carts of others.
Toma 24 cajas de condones y echarlas al azar en los carritos de otros.
2. Set up all the alarm clocks in the Home Department to sound in 5 minutes intérvals from each other.
Pon todos los relojes despertadores del departamento de enseres del hogar a sonar a intérvalos de 5 minutos.
3. Leave a trail of tomato juice on a corridor leading to the bath.
Deja un rastro de jugo de tomate por todo el pasillo hasta el baño.
4. Go to the Customer Service Counter with an M&M package to put it in ‘lay away’.
Ve al departamento de servicio al cliente de con un paquete de M&M para ponerlos en ‘lay away’.
5. Move the ‘Caution Wet Floors’ sign to a carpeted area.
Mueve el letrero de ‘Resbala Mojado’ a un área alfombrada.
6. Open a tent in the Sports Department and invite other clients, as long as they bring their own pillows from the Linen Department.
Abre una tienda de acampar en el área de deportes e invita a otros clientes, siempre y cuando traigan sus almohadas del departamento de ropa del hogar.
7. Walk to an employee and say in a very serious tone ‘Code 3 in the Home Appliances Department", just to see what happens.
Camina hasta donde un empleado y dile en tono muy oficial “Clave 3 en Enseres”, a ver que sucede.
8. When an employee asks: ‘How can I help you?’, start crying and shouting like a crazy person ‘WHY DON’T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!
Cuando un empleado te pregunte ‘¿Lo puedo ayudar?’ empieza a llorar y a gritar como un loco ‘¡¡¡¡POR QUE NO ME DEJAN EN PAZZZZZZ!!!!’.
9. Look directly to the security camera as if you used it as mirror while you remove snots.
Mira directamente a la cámara de seguridad como si la usaras de espejo mientras te sacas los mocos.
10. While you examine a weapon in the Sports Department ask to the employee where are the antidepressants.
Mientras examinas un arma en el departamento de deportes, pregúntale al dependiente donde están los anti-depresivos.
11. Run suspiciously by the store from one side to another while you whistle the song of ‘Mission Impossible ‘.
Corre por la tienda sospechosamente de un lado a otro mientras silbas la canción de ‘Misión Imposible’.
12. In the Automotives Department use two funnels as brassiere to practice your ‘Madonna look’.
En el departamento de autos utiliza dos embudos como brassiere y practica tu ‘look’ de Madonna.
13. Hide in a rack of clothes waiting quietly. When somebody approach the rack looking for something wisper: ‘Take me home’.
Escóndete en un rack de ropa muy cayado. Cuando alguien se acerque para buscar algo, susurra: ‘LLEVAME’.
14. Jump to the floor when you hear an announcement by the intercom, assume fetal position and shouts ‘GOD!!!!, I AM HEARING THE VOICES AGAIN!!’.
Cuando haya un anuncio por el ‘intercom’ tirate al piso, asume posición fetal y grita ‘¡¡¡¡DIOS MIO!!!!, ¡¡ESTOY OYENDO LAS VOCES OTRA VEZ!!’.
15. Enter a Fitting Room and shout from inside… ‘Hey…..Someone hey!!!… The toilet paper was finished here.’
Entra a un probador de ropa y grita desde adentro ‘¡¡¡Oigan…..Oigan!!!… ¡¡Se terminó el papel de inodoro aquí!!’.
Prepare to be alone the rest of the summer. Who of your friends would want to go shopping with you after you do all this? LOL
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